Healing the Orphan Spirit
Jacob’s parents gave him up for adoption when he was born. Over the next few years, he was bounced around the foster system, never staying with any family long enough to put down roots. This was partly because Jacob had a hard time letting anyone get too close to him. Being an orphan had left Jacob with a sense never being good enough. So in attempts to protect his heart, Jacob built walls to keep everyone at arms length. Because in his mind, sooner or later everyone would see his inadequacies, and then they would surely abandon him, just like his parents did. Jacob chalked up the rejection of his parents to some kind internal flaw that he must have possessed that would render him unloveable to everyone in his life. And that wound to his soul grew deeper with each passing year.
Eventually Jacob grew into a man. He had a steady job, a beautiful wife, and three great kids. From the outside looking in, he appeared to have a wonderful life. But internally, Jacob was still haunted by his past. No matter how successful he was at his job or how attentive he was to his family, two burning question still lingered in the back of his mind. “What if my best is not enough?” “Will I once again become an orphan?”
Jacob was known by his coworkers to be the hardest worker in the company. And he poured his heart into his wife and children, never letting a day passed where he did not shower them with his love. But no matter how hard he worked, or how extravagant his love was for his family, it was never enough for him. Regardless of how hard he tried, Jacob could not outrun the wounds of his past. Because the question always lingered in the back of his mind; “What if one day, my best is not enough?”
During the time that I have been in vocational ministry, I’ve known many people who have what I would call an orphan spirit. I currently know people who are living in this reality. They carry with them a wound from their past that has never fully healed. Years ago, I met a very successful business man who had a beautiful family and had done very well for himself financially speaking. But as a young boy, his father was not loving towards him. No matter how hard he tried to impress his dad, nothing he did was ever enough to earn the embrace of his father. And so he worked hard all of his life, in part, to quiet the whispers in his head that would tell him that he would never be enough for his family.
Similarly, an older lady once came to the church that I pastored in need of biblical counseling. After many years of marriage, out of the blue, her husband told her that he was leaving and wanted a divorce. Much time had passed since the trauma of her marriage ending took place, and this lady was now in a relationship with a wonderful man who loved the Lord. But she found herself constantly trying to earn his love, wondering if the day would eventually come when she would no longer be enough for him, and if the past would repeat itself.
Like our opening example of Jacob, these former wounds tend to prompt the same internal question; “What if one day my best is not enough?” So men and women who possess an orphan spirit start to work harder in every aspect of their lives, never feeling like they quite measure up in any area. They begin to overcompensate, trying harder and harder, only to always come up short in their mind. And it creates an exhausting cycle where the bar of acceptance and love continually seem to be unattainable.
I've known both men and women who fell prey to this mindset. However, men seem to struggle with this much more than women. Men are wired differently than women. Instead of talking to others about the wounds of their past, men tend to bury their trauma. They tend to hide their fears. Because they tend to think that if others knew about their wound, it could show weakness in them. If others knew about their wound, it would make them unlovable. If others knew about their deep seeded wounds and fears, it would somehow make them less of a man.
And so their past begins to define their present reality as well as the way they view themselves. They become driven in every area of their life in order to outrun the past. They become driven in order to earn acceptance and love. But no matter how fast they run, their best never seems to be enough. Every day is a sprint towards what they see as the finish line of affirmation . And they never seem to be able to win the race. Therefore, everything in life, from praise in their job to love from their family begins to be viewed as something that they can lose in a moments notice. The fear of failure takes control, and it slowly crushes their spirit.
But the orphan spirit has it’s roots in the pit of Hell. Satan desires God’s people to define their present by the past. He wants both men and women of God to be continually reminded of their fears and failures. The enemy wants God’s people to live in fear, not faith. And this mindset takes hold when people begin to believe the whispers of the enemy rather than the truth of what God says about them.
If you struggle with an orphan spirit, it is time to come out of the darkness and into the light. It is time to start believing the truth of God’s Word rather than the lies of Satan. You are no longer a slave to your past. It has no hold over you and in no way does your former life define your present reality.
“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15.
Regardless of if your past has made you feel like an orphan, Christ has given you have a new title. You are now called a son or daughter of the King of Kings. Due to your past, you may have labeled yourself as unlovable. In Christ, you are unconditionally loved. In Christ, we do not work to be accepted. We flourish in every area of our lives because we are accepted by our Heavenly Father. And the fear of failure begins to be crushed by the weight of faith in Christ.
When Jesus endured the trauma of the cross, He was wounded and unjustly killed by ruthless men. But in the Lord’s providence, the cross was the plan of God so that the perfect Son would be eternally glorified and our sins would be forgiven. The traumatic pain of the cross could not hold Jesus, for He has overcome the grave. God is sovereign over the wounds of our past in the very same way. He has a purpose for everything under the sun that His children endure. And every circumstance, both the good and bad, God uses for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).
The wounds from the nails that pierced our Lord’s hands and feet have healed, and all that remains are His beautiful scars. On the cross, Jesus didn’t just overcome our sins. He overcame and brought healing to our past iniquities, both those that we caused and those committed against us. And like our Savior, for those in Christ, all that remains are fully healed, beautiful scars. In Christ, we are not our past, but completely new creations.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17.
“But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5.
Satan hinders women from flourishing and men from leading by keeping them chained to their past. Many will praise the Lord for their spiritual adoption, but live as if they are still spiritual orphan’s. Their identity is found not in what Christ has done for them, but rather in a past event that wounded them. And instead of walking in the light of the Savior, they see their lives as a wilderness where they need to continually strive to meet an unattainable mark that only exists in their minds in order to survive each day.
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness, and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19.
Before Christ, we were all prisoners of sin (John 8). We were bound to the shackles of our past, our iniquities, our transgressions, and our fears. But for the believer, Jesus has unlocked the door to our prison and set us free. The problem is that many have yet to realize that the cell door is now open because they are still looking at the prison walls.
In Genesis 19, God command Lot and his family to flee from the wicked cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. As they were leaving their past lives behind and walking towards the future that the Lord had for them, Lot’s wife looked back towards the place which God intended to save her from. And she was transformed into a pillar of salt, incapable of moving forward.
In the original language, the phrase “looked back” can imply two different meanings. It can mean that she simply began to dwell upon that which she was called to leave behind. Or it can mean that she attempted to return to the place God commanded her to flee from. Either way, the outcome remains the same. It is impossible to enter into fullness of life when your focus is on what is meant to bring death.
“Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.” Proverbs 4:25-26.
For those who have truly placed their faith in the risen Christ, you are no longer under the yolk of fear. Christ has brought peace to the soul of all who will let go of the past and find their identity and rest in Him. You no longer have a spirit of fear, but the Spirit of truth now lives within you. And you no longer abide under the spirit of the orphan, but the spirit of sonship.
Due to the fallenness of this world, no one gets out of here unscathed. Life is filled with trials, heartbreak, persecution, and pain. But in Christ, we have hope in the midst of our trials. We have healing in our adoption as the spiritual children of God. In Christ, there are no orphan spirits, because the Spirit of God has called us sons. It is impossible for scars that testify to the grace of God to form if you continue to pick the scab from the wounds of the past.
Your past is not indicative of your present or your future. You are not your former circumstances. And you are no longer defined by your sins, afflictions, and past failures. Jesus brings healing to the orphan spirit, and hope to the wounded heart. Fix your gaze upon Him, and enter into abundance of life. What the enemy meant for evil, God uses for the good of those who love Him. Stop looking to your works for acceptance and look to the finished work of Christ. Trust in Him, and believe not the lies of the devil. You are no longer an orphan. In Christ, you are home.
“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14.
Eventually Jacob grew into a man. He had a steady job, a beautiful wife, and three great kids. From the outside looking in, he appeared to have a wonderful life. But internally, Jacob was still haunted by his past. No matter how successful he was at his job or how attentive he was to his family, two burning question still lingered in the back of his mind. “What if my best is not enough?” “Will I once again become an orphan?”
Jacob was known by his coworkers to be the hardest worker in the company. And he poured his heart into his wife and children, never letting a day passed where he did not shower them with his love. But no matter how hard he worked, or how extravagant his love was for his family, it was never enough for him. Regardless of how hard he tried, Jacob could not outrun the wounds of his past. Because the question always lingered in the back of his mind; “What if one day, my best is not enough?”
During the time that I have been in vocational ministry, I’ve known many people who have what I would call an orphan spirit. I currently know people who are living in this reality. They carry with them a wound from their past that has never fully healed. Years ago, I met a very successful business man who had a beautiful family and had done very well for himself financially speaking. But as a young boy, his father was not loving towards him. No matter how hard he tried to impress his dad, nothing he did was ever enough to earn the embrace of his father. And so he worked hard all of his life, in part, to quiet the whispers in his head that would tell him that he would never be enough for his family.
Similarly, an older lady once came to the church that I pastored in need of biblical counseling. After many years of marriage, out of the blue, her husband told her that he was leaving and wanted a divorce. Much time had passed since the trauma of her marriage ending took place, and this lady was now in a relationship with a wonderful man who loved the Lord. But she found herself constantly trying to earn his love, wondering if the day would eventually come when she would no longer be enough for him, and if the past would repeat itself.
Like our opening example of Jacob, these former wounds tend to prompt the same internal question; “What if one day my best is not enough?” So men and women who possess an orphan spirit start to work harder in every aspect of their lives, never feeling like they quite measure up in any area. They begin to overcompensate, trying harder and harder, only to always come up short in their mind. And it creates an exhausting cycle where the bar of acceptance and love continually seem to be unattainable.
I've known both men and women who fell prey to this mindset. However, men seem to struggle with this much more than women. Men are wired differently than women. Instead of talking to others about the wounds of their past, men tend to bury their trauma. They tend to hide their fears. Because they tend to think that if others knew about their wound, it could show weakness in them. If others knew about their wound, it would make them unlovable. If others knew about their deep seeded wounds and fears, it would somehow make them less of a man.
And so their past begins to define their present reality as well as the way they view themselves. They become driven in every area of their life in order to outrun the past. They become driven in order to earn acceptance and love. But no matter how fast they run, their best never seems to be enough. Every day is a sprint towards what they see as the finish line of affirmation . And they never seem to be able to win the race. Therefore, everything in life, from praise in their job to love from their family begins to be viewed as something that they can lose in a moments notice. The fear of failure takes control, and it slowly crushes their spirit.
But the orphan spirit has it’s roots in the pit of Hell. Satan desires God’s people to define their present by the past. He wants both men and women of God to be continually reminded of their fears and failures. The enemy wants God’s people to live in fear, not faith. And this mindset takes hold when people begin to believe the whispers of the enemy rather than the truth of what God says about them.
If you struggle with an orphan spirit, it is time to come out of the darkness and into the light. It is time to start believing the truth of God’s Word rather than the lies of Satan. You are no longer a slave to your past. It has no hold over you and in no way does your former life define your present reality.
“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15.
Regardless of if your past has made you feel like an orphan, Christ has given you have a new title. You are now called a son or daughter of the King of Kings. Due to your past, you may have labeled yourself as unlovable. In Christ, you are unconditionally loved. In Christ, we do not work to be accepted. We flourish in every area of our lives because we are accepted by our Heavenly Father. And the fear of failure begins to be crushed by the weight of faith in Christ.
When Jesus endured the trauma of the cross, He was wounded and unjustly killed by ruthless men. But in the Lord’s providence, the cross was the plan of God so that the perfect Son would be eternally glorified and our sins would be forgiven. The traumatic pain of the cross could not hold Jesus, for He has overcome the grave. God is sovereign over the wounds of our past in the very same way. He has a purpose for everything under the sun that His children endure. And every circumstance, both the good and bad, God uses for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).
The wounds from the nails that pierced our Lord’s hands and feet have healed, and all that remains are His beautiful scars. On the cross, Jesus didn’t just overcome our sins. He overcame and brought healing to our past iniquities, both those that we caused and those committed against us. And like our Savior, for those in Christ, all that remains are fully healed, beautiful scars. In Christ, we are not our past, but completely new creations.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17.
“But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5.
Satan hinders women from flourishing and men from leading by keeping them chained to their past. Many will praise the Lord for their spiritual adoption, but live as if they are still spiritual orphan’s. Their identity is found not in what Christ has done for them, but rather in a past event that wounded them. And instead of walking in the light of the Savior, they see their lives as a wilderness where they need to continually strive to meet an unattainable mark that only exists in their minds in order to survive each day.
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness, and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19.
Before Christ, we were all prisoners of sin (John 8). We were bound to the shackles of our past, our iniquities, our transgressions, and our fears. But for the believer, Jesus has unlocked the door to our prison and set us free. The problem is that many have yet to realize that the cell door is now open because they are still looking at the prison walls.
In Genesis 19, God command Lot and his family to flee from the wicked cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. As they were leaving their past lives behind and walking towards the future that the Lord had for them, Lot’s wife looked back towards the place which God intended to save her from. And she was transformed into a pillar of salt, incapable of moving forward.
In the original language, the phrase “looked back” can imply two different meanings. It can mean that she simply began to dwell upon that which she was called to leave behind. Or it can mean that she attempted to return to the place God commanded her to flee from. Either way, the outcome remains the same. It is impossible to enter into fullness of life when your focus is on what is meant to bring death.
“Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.” Proverbs 4:25-26.
For those who have truly placed their faith in the risen Christ, you are no longer under the yolk of fear. Christ has brought peace to the soul of all who will let go of the past and find their identity and rest in Him. You no longer have a spirit of fear, but the Spirit of truth now lives within you. And you no longer abide under the spirit of the orphan, but the spirit of sonship.
Due to the fallenness of this world, no one gets out of here unscathed. Life is filled with trials, heartbreak, persecution, and pain. But in Christ, we have hope in the midst of our trials. We have healing in our adoption as the spiritual children of God. In Christ, there are no orphan spirits, because the Spirit of God has called us sons. It is impossible for scars that testify to the grace of God to form if you continue to pick the scab from the wounds of the past.
Your past is not indicative of your present or your future. You are not your former circumstances. And you are no longer defined by your sins, afflictions, and past failures. Jesus brings healing to the orphan spirit, and hope to the wounded heart. Fix your gaze upon Him, and enter into abundance of life. What the enemy meant for evil, God uses for the good of those who love Him. Stop looking to your works for acceptance and look to the finished work of Christ. Trust in Him, and believe not the lies of the devil. You are no longer an orphan. In Christ, you are home.
“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14.
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